CPE became the the disembodied voice of a mother figure to me in the early 90's. She understood me, in a bone deep knowing way of a wise family elder.
She explained why I yearned to know more, why I asked the big questions and why I refused to follow rules other people imposed on me. She spoon- fed my very creative imagination, and taught me about passion and creativity. She told me where I lost myself and where my bones could be found.
It has always felt as though I was seeking something that had been lost. Lost from the moment air filled my lungs and expanded my tiny pink ribcage.
Dr. E's WWRWTW - Women Who Run with the Wolves, and Marianne Williiamson's Return to Love was the duo that sent me on this trajectory of being awake. Soon after devouring both books, the doors of deepening my yoga practice swung open, and regular meditation followed. There was so much to learn about myself and the world I lived in.
What is my definition of being awake? Can I put this into words? Hmmmm....I think it will be an evolving list.
For Today here are some tidbits:
1. For me being awake is knowing that we are all on our own paths, and honouring that everyone is on their journey, not yours, and meeting them where ever they are at.
2. Knowing that being kind, respectful and tender all all sentient beings is important.
3. Knowing that I have a lot (really a lot) to learn.
4. Knowing that most people in my life are perfect mirrors to my ego, and they show me every day what needs gentle work.
5. Knowing that I'm aware of my reactions and I am in control of how I react to situations, and that I have a choice to react out of love or fear. (This is a learning curve...because sometimes the reflection on the knee-jerk reaction is extremely educational!)
6. I know how to say no.
And if I had a tiny bit of advice for those who are into diving into themselves to find out how they tick and why they do the things they do. Yes, try yoga. Get back to living inside your body. Move your body, and especially consciously breathe your body.
I do mean find your yoga, find a teacher or class that resonates with you. Find moments to be still. There is no where to hide when you close your eyes and have to sit in stillness with yourself. Lastly, listen deeply in the still moments. You will be amazed at all your wise heart has to offer.